how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we're so committed to being not committed
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
