I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
