Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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