: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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