I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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