i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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