I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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