she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
