i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
