your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
