Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
