tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
