Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
