i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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