those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
