what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
