paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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