Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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