How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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