Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
