I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We don't watch enough power rangers
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
