Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
