I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
