you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My bed smells like the plague
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
