Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
