I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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