Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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