Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
