There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How does it feel to date your dad?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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