i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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