But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
