hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
