how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
