Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
