I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
