I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
