just tell him i said nine months
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
