I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
