Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
