do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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