Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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