to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i out mim tonsoeep
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