I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
