Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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