So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
