I just pynch a tree in the face
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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