butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
