I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
