He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
