No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
