i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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