Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
