And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
